Coping and Healing after a breakup
The end of a relationship can be painful and messy, regardless of who broke up with who or how long you were dating. If you’re in the aftermath of a breakup, you might be sick of hearing people tell you “time heals all wounds” or “there’s plenty of fish in the sea.” While some people are telling you to “cheer up” and “move on,” others may encourage you to grieve and wallow, and it can be confusing to decide which advice to take. The truth is, there is no exact formula for how to act or feel following a breakup, but there are coping strategies and behaviors that are more helpful than others. So, I want to offer you a few do’s and don’ts as you navigate this season.
Do:
Move your body: Go on a walk, play a sport, take a fitness class, or do a little dance in the kitchen. Movement can help relieve stress and provide a healthy distraction from worries.
Try something new: Go to that restaurant you’ve always wanted to check out, read the book that’s been on your shelf far too long, or pick up a new hobby.
Process and pray: Now is a great time to break out your journal, Bible, or spiritual reading and spend quality time in prayer.
Go to therapy: A professional counselor can help you as you process your relationship and grow personally post-breakup. Additionally, Catholic counseling can offer an integration of the faith in the therapeutic process, aiding your healing journey.
Don’t (even if you are tempted):
Rush the grieving process: Give yourself time to feel all of your emotions. Forcing yourself to move on rarely works.
Isolate yourself: You don’t have to go through the ups and downs of a breakup alone. Surround yourself with family and friends that can support and encourage you.
Stay in touch with your ex: It is tempting to reach out and can provide momentary comfort, but in the long-run it can lead to more harm than good.
Make any major life changes: Now is not the time to quit your job or move across the country…making these changes won’t make your problem or pain go away.
For most people, relationship breakups are a part of life. While experiencing one may be unavoidable, prioritizing your needs and implementing healthy ways of coping can provide stability. Breakups can reveal unresolved issues and bring past hurt to the surface, which will likely be uncomfortable. If you are experiencing anxiety or depression post-breakup, therapy can provide additional support. You don’t have to walk through this alone!
Written by our Cor Sacrum Clinician: Amy Walsh, LPC-Associate, supervised by Sonia Mijares, LPC-S. Learn more about Amy here!
Struggling to move on from a breakup or past relationship? Let Amy help you heal and find your way forward. Schedule your session today!
