Navigating Stress and Finding Joy during the Holiday Season
As the holiday season approaches, you may notice some people smiling or laughing as they dust off family recipes for holiday meals or laugh as they go down memory lane unboxing heirloom decorations. The holiday movies or commercials portray images of families and friends happily gathering to celebrate the holidays.
But that may not always be the case for everyone.
For people with childhood trauma, the holiday season may be more stressful and increase anxious or depressive symptoms. Childhood trauma has the ability to not only negatively impact a person's mental health but also a person’s physical health. When US adults were presented with the Adverse Childhood Experiences questionnaire inquiring about possible traumatic events or other aspects of a person’s childhood environment that left them feeling unsafe, unstable, or lacking a bond with others from 0 to 17 years of age, more than half reported experiencing some form of childhood trauma. At least 64% of US adults reported one childhood trauma experience while a little more than 17% reported at least four or more childhood traumas. It can be shocking to learn the amount of people who have experienced some form of childhood traumas in their life.
And the holiday season may be a trigger for those survivors of childhood trauma. It could come across as a person finding it difficult to bond or celebrate with others during the holiday. They could experience feelings of discomfort, isolation, grief, or avoidance during the holiday season due to the reminders of their childhood trauma. While some people may have only experienced childhood trauma in their immediate family, others may notice patterns of childhood trauma for their parents or grandparents as well. The passing down of trauma from one generation to the next is also known as generational trauma. When you are ready, psychotherapy may be an option to assist someone who is ready to recognize, lessen, or resolve the lasting effects of generational trauma.
Know you are not alone.
And know you have the ability to make your holidays memorable in a safe, stable, and healthy environment with an emotional support plan. Having a plan in place can provide you with additional resources or a mix of healthy coping skills to utilize as needed when you become triggered or stressed. Practice them before the holiday gatherings to ensure they work for you. Write them on a notebook or in your phone for easy access.
Possible options include:
Establishing your healthy boundaries and practicing assertive communication when those boundaries are not respected.
Taking a break from family gatherings by reading a book, cooking, or playing with a pet.
Practice deep belly breathing by placing a stuffed animal on your stomach and watching it go up and down as you take deep breaths.
Engage in alternative nostril breathing.
Complete the five sense exercise by using each of your senses to see what you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste around you.
Complete a body scan with a mindfulness video on youtube.
Connect with nature by going for a walk or walking barefoot outside.
Listen to your favorite music.
Make yourself laugh by watching a funny show or clip.
Phone or text a friend.
Find what works for you and use it as needed to keep yourself emotionally safe this holiday season.
In the event of a crisis or if you feel you need additional help, call or text 988 or 911 anytime and at any time of the day.
Know you are not alone.
References
Swedo EA, Aslam MV, Dahlberg LL, et al. Prevalence of Adverse Childhood Experiences Among U.S. Adults — Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, 2011–2020. MMWR Morb Mortal Wkly Rep 2023;72:707–715. DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.15585/mmwr.mm7226a2
